Digital Girl

When I was younger, my mom would always have 1010 WINS on the radio: 'You give us 22 minutes, we'll give you the world'. I would try my hardest to wait 22 minutes just so I could have the world! What young naive child wouldn't?! No exaggeration, I would sit there and wait, wondering how they would deliver the world, to me, from the radio. Needless to say, my mother screamed at me every morning, I do not have the world, yet, and you're probably judging me. I'm ok with that.

Any-who, I have one better for you: 'You give me 10 minutes and I can tell you who's talking to who, who's in love, who just broke up with their boyfriend, and who's desperate and/or lonely'. How do I do this you ask? Simple: from my computer. This age of technology is a blessing and a curse. With a few key strokes, we have access to the world's business like that *insert finger snap*.

When we were mad at people, we used to call them and tell them, or call our friends and rant about it. Some people hit their pillows, some people wrote in a journal or what have you; they did a lot of behind the scene screaming. Now, we take to twitter, status updates and other public, need I say, traceable, government viewed sources, to vent. We, and the people who follow us, are able to track what we are saying, what we are doing, who we are screwing and all of the other crafty details they'd like. Please see the below example, which is a take on the various information social networks provide on a daily basis:

** Key:
@= twitter
italics = BBM
Full Name is = facebook

Characters: 
Latoya James:  @Tickle_Me_Toya  ( twitter name ), Toy_Story ( BBM name ).
John Smalls: @Johnny5000 ( twitter name ), John Doe ( BBM name ).
Jazzmine Wright: @Jazzy_mine ( twitter name ), Jazz ( BBM name ).
Terrence Williams: @Teebone ( twitter name ), Tee ( BBM name ).

Monday:
@Tickle_Me_Toya Waking up next to him is the best thing ever! I love my boyfriend, he's the best thing that's happened to me
@Tickle_Me_Toya Who wouldn't want a boyfriend like mine @Johnny5000
@Johnny5000 Rise and Grind!
@Jazzy_mine RT: Love is gentle, love is kind, love doesn't wake up and slap your behind!
@Teebone Need a date. Who's available?

Toy_Story: I love my baby, yup yup, I love my boy *bbm flirty face* ( BBM pic of Toya and John kissing )
Jazz: I'm waiting for Romeo, forget superman *bbm rolling eyes face* ( BBM pic of cupid )
Tee: I got mistletoe!
John Doe: Making moves

Latoya James is in Love!!!
---------------------------
Tuesday Morning:
@Tickle_Me_Toya I can't wait for him to call me!
@Jazzy_mine I'm just seeing this! O_o I'm available! #subliminal
---------------------------
Tuesday Afternoon:
@Tickle_Me_Toya Pissed!
@Tickle_Me_Toya I hate him
@Johnny5000 Phone about to die, later twitter

Toy_Story: Pissed! *bbm angry face* DON'T HIT ME UP! (BBM pic of Do Not Disturb sign )
Jazz: Committing shoe-icide tonight!

Latoya James is looking for a drink. This can't be life! What is love?!
----------------------------
Tuesday Evening:
@Tickle_Me_Toya #np Emotional Rollercoaster --- loving you ain't nothing healthy! @Johnny5000
@Tickle_Me_Toya #np Fistful of Tears
@Johnny5000 Drama #thingsImLeavingIn2010

Tee: I clean up niiiice
----------------------------

Wednesday Morning:
@Tickle_Me_Toya #np: When a woman's fed up
---------------------------

Wednesday Afternoon:
@Tickle_Me_Toya All I got it me, myself, & I. No more tears, like Mary said. I'm doing me!
@Jazzy_mine Will he call? #np: All My Life

Toy_Story: Un-break my heart ( BBM crying face )
--------------------------

Thursday

@Teebone Yooooo. Last night was #epic. The girls were HOT!
@Jazzy_mine Guess not #np: Gone
@Jazzy_mine #nw Waiting to Exhale
@Teebone What's up twitter!? What's the move for tonight?! I'm trying to go out!
-----------------------

Friday

@Tickle_Me_Toya Break ups to make ups
@Tickle_Me_Toya I'm a sucka for a smile
@Tickle_Me_Toya P.S. I Love You
@Tickle_Me_Toya Unbreakable

Toy_Story: Reunited and it feels so good *bbm smiley face * ( BBM pic of John & Toya holding hands )

Jazzmine Wright is wondering why men do the things they do. Enjoy your weekend facebook.. have enough fun for me *sigh*

* End Scene *

I hope you're not too confused, but that's a mixup of the different displays of social networks on a daily basis. If I'm best friends, close friends, 3rd tier friends or associates with these people, I could log on Saturday and see that Toya and John fought, YET AGAIN, Jazzmine is looking for love EVERYWHERE, and Tee is still trying to have fun. If I wanted to go deeper, I could look at who's wall any of them wrote on or who they @'d on twitter to find more information on it. 10 minutes on a Saturday morning, I already have the scoop on, As The Social Networks Turn.

People need to be more aware of how they are representing themselves and who has access to this information. I've heard countless stories of cooperations bringing up someone's facebook profile during a job interview and the interviewee having the 'stuck on stupid' face. We've probably all seen the email that went around of the guy who called out sick and posted on his facebook status that he was way too hungover to go to work. His manager commented on his status, stating he was fired. Lastly, google your name and if your twitter page is public, google that too. Surprise! Read 'em and weep.

Outside of all of the politics, do you really want to be the girl who's information is all out there? Guys are probably afraid to date you because as soon as they mess up, you throw on the " Love Stinks" playlist and quote Mary J Blige songs with a hint of Jazmine Sullivan ( I love you Mary & Jazmine! ). Everybody knows your business, even people who you don't really know. Then, we get upset because people are talking about our business? Something doesn't add up. I'm not saying to stop, because some of us really don't care and some of us appreciate that we have somewhere to vent about any and everything; I'd rather you do that, then go postal. Honestly, it's also quite entertaining. Just be careful.

Sometimes we get the feeling that someone is watching us, chances are, we're right. The question is, are we ok with what they're seeing.

Smoochis :-*
KK

All I Want for Christmas is You

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas Eve!

For those who have been keeping up with me, you know that I've been deathly-ill; slightly dramatic, but I'm sure you get the point. Thank you all for your concern, but KK is back! Right in time for the holidays --YES!

Christmas is one of my favorite holidays. Sure, I love gifts, giving and receiving, but it's also because I love my family. When Christmas is a few weeks away, we always have the discussion of who's hosting, followed by the dinner menu. Every year, without fail, we talk about changing the menu and cooking less. However, every year, without fail, there are just certain items we cannot not have: Roasted chicken, pot roast, ham, fried chicken, baked macaroni and cheese, potato salad, collard greens, sweet potatoes ( excuse me, I'm salivating ), corn bread, stuffing, veggies, someone debuting a dish they saw on the food network, someone else making their famous cake and/or pie, sweet potato pie or pudding, depending on if we have pie crust, and last, but not least, the cranberry sauce. This list makes me smile.

Christmas is about the people we share it with and the fun times we have with them. What's better than turning on the music in the kitchen and hearing your favorite Christmas song, right as you're about to mix the eggs for the morning's breakfast with the family? Who can recall a greater feeling than the youngest in the house running around screaming, ' It's Christmas! It's Christmas!'? Lastly, when you get that phone call from your cousin who can't make it because of the storm, and five minutes later, he's ringing the bell as a surprise; what's better than that?! The movie moments of the Christmas season are what makes it magical.

When the food is all ready and everyone gathers around the table to say prayer, who can forget that one uncle who captures everything in the blessing of the food: those who are here, those who wanted to be here and those that couldn't make it; those seen and unseen; family, friend or foe; stranger or friend yet to be discovered; first Christmas with the family -- we get the point. As soon as we say Amen, someone is strategically placed in front of the plates, so they turn left to pick up their plate, right to grab a fork, and slide straight to the beginning of the food line. Pssh, talent I tell you.

Complete silence. Everyone has their plate and every morsel of food is savored, followed by a random grunt or mmhhmm, because this year's food, believe it or not, was the best the cooks have ever done ( Don't get offended or too excited, they say this every year ). After everyone is finished eating, the showdown: Who will be the first to stand up and take the plates to the garbage. Side-eyes, followed by an ever so gentle laugh, in search of who will make the first move. Then it happens -- a brave soul either tries to make a run for it and fails, or someone, absent-mindedly, gets up and forgets the duty of garbage collector. This year, hope it isn't you.

Now, everyone is free to move and here comes that same uncle, calling for a dance off. We're motioned to the family room and it's time to get down! Shake off some of those calories by showing off the latest dances. Although all of the kids are now over 14 and understand the value of a dollar, you still have that one aunt who is willing to give a dollar to whoever wins the dance contest. O and believe you me, it's a crispy one. The rush of 20 - 30 year olds run to the floor working HARD for that dollar bill, yet and still, they won't win. The soul train line starts and the adults go down memory lane, recalling the dance moves of their time. Someone does the snake, the kid 'n' play, and the 'please baby please' ( please tell me someone in your family does these dances as well ). Queue the uncle again, who ask some of the young boys to teach him how to dougie. Imagine Wolfe Blitzer, during the Soul Train awards, not too far off. The couples do their dances, the sisters and brothers do a quick number, yes, I am and will always be Beyonce, and then we culminate in the newest version of the electric slide. Cha cha now ya'll!

We've all worked up a sweat and it's time to sit down, relax and open gifts. This is probably the only time the kids pay attention because they don't want to miss their name. Boxes are passed, hugs and kisses are given freely and with the blink of an eye, the gift exchange is complete. The host of the house turns on the tea pot, takes down glasses, different types of teas and coffee, juxtaposed to the milk and sugar; it's time for dessert and a movie. We're all in the living room comfortably watching a good movie until the real sounds of the season begin: snoring.

Everyone finds their room for the night, if we're all staying in the house, or we make our way towards the door. Christmas is over. What do you remember most? Sure we're happy about our iPad, but could you believe all of the sweat on uncle's shirt after he showed us how low he could go? Love the new shoes, but please tell me grandma wasn't serious with that outfit she had on today. I know my sister is going to brag to all of her friends about the watch I bought her, but let me not forget to send my cousin an email asking her for that recipe. Get my point? The gifts are spectacular, but as for me, all I need and want for Christmas is my family. Christmas is a joyous time and outside of all of the gifts, what we really want is to be around people who love us just as much, if not more, as we love them.

The English language is tricky. Did you know that Christmas has love, happiness and family in it? You just can't see it. Who woulda thunk it ;-)

Happy Holidays!

Smoochis :-*
KK

You Make Me Sick Pt 2

Hey Guys!

Taking medicine and feeling a bit better. Getting my energy up and I should be back soon.

Smoochis :-*
KK

You Make Me Sick

Hey guys,

I'm terribly sick which is why I haven't posted for Monday. I'm praying for a speedy recovery.

Smoochis :-*
KK

On My Radio

Music gets me through everything. When I want to be angry, I can find the right song. when I want to be happy, I scroll right to a particular artist. Music elicits emotions I never knew existed I don't know where I would be without a tune in my head or a song in my heart. If you've noticed, every post was the title of a song ( *light bulb* Aha! )

The below poem is a poem I wrote some time ago. I guess it's my ode to music. Enjoy!

I have this Groove Theory that if we Xscape, I can show you some TLC.

I've made Keith Sweat and Stevie Wonder, but I've never turned Boyz II Men.

B-Legit, show me your Babyface,

While we Busta Rhymes and keep it N'Sync.

Cherish the moments we share and have Common Sense to know that I am Destiny's Child; 

You were brought to me for a reason.

We don't need to go through the Dramatics, 

Just be in tune and En Vogue with me and have Faith.

Evans was Fat, Joe was Ginuwine, but not of them are like you.

Meet me in H-Town around that Jagged Edge and I will Usher you through Madison Park.

We will relax and Max-well while we listen to the Musiq of Miles Davis.

Keep me heart in Mint Condition as we enter this New Edition of our lives.

No time for an Ol' Dirty Bastard or Outkast cuz I'll bring The Pack.

So Pharrell, pour the Remy and add the Salt 'n' Peppa.

I'll give you one T.I.P.:

I know Tony, Toni, Tone and I'm down with the Three 6 Mafia,

We can make you an Unknown Artist.

Smoochis :-*

KK

Count on Me

*Insert Jigsaw voice* Let's play a game. All of your life, you've surrounded yourself with people who you believe are your friends. They call, say "hi" when you enter and "see you later" when you leave. They eat your food, celebrate your birthday and even know your parents' names. One thing is wrong, they aren't your friends. At the end of this, you will find out who your friends are. Let the game begin.

Think about all of your friends or the people who are privileged to hold that title. Now, eliminate the friends who you only gossip with, but never tell anything too personal; if they're talking to you about someone, they'll talk to someone about you. Next, eliminate the friends who you only use for networking purposes, yes, we have ulterior motives as well. Drop off the friends who you've been bff's with since elementary school, but never had the courage to drop the title. Let go of the moochers, the 'party crew', and the 'it just makes sense' friends. Who's left? Don't worry, I'll wait.

The remainder are people who seek solutions when you have issues. The ones that check on you to make sure you're awake finishing up that last paper during finals week. They know when you're mad even when you're smiling. You have a good laugh whether you're on the couch reminiscing, at the gym working out, or in the pews of the church getting your praise on. Goodie bag when you've come home from surgery? Heck Yea! Swedish fish and cheez-its included. When your back is against the wall, they're knocking down the wall to make some more space for you guys to brainstorm your next move. These people are your friends.

My mother said if I graduated college with at least two good friends, I was blessed. I must be blessed and highly favored because I have a good handful of friends in my corner. We've laughed, cried, stood in the cold for a concert, embarrassed each other during celebratory events and most importantly, gone toe to toe, hand in hand, in the everlasting battle of life. Although there are no physical requirements for friends, if you're a guy, it wouldn't hurt if your friend was a HOT girl who could get your ex-jealous. Ladies, if your friend was a guy, 6'7'' and a CUTIE, it wouldn't hurt to tote him around to the next holiday party. I digress.

Your friends can range from your mother, father, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, cousin, line sister/brother, co-worker, random stranger you've met on the bus or college roommate. I'm not saying you need to call everyone in your phone book, and tell them that you're friends and not friends, but I do want you to realize the difference; every person serves a purpose in your life, being your ride or die, just may not be it -- no hard feelings. Think about what people stand out the most in your life and why. Think about your rough times and the people you've called to get you through. Lastly, think about the people who call you just to make sure that you're ok -- sometimes we put walls up, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

A friendship is hard work, so work hard at it. You will reap the benefits, and you'll notice who they are, when you need them the most.

Smoochis :-*
KK

Ring the Alarm

Hoodwinked, bamboozled and swindled are a few of the words that come to mind when we finally realize that we've been cheated, again. We've turned an acquaintance, someone we barely knew, into a dependent. How did this happen? After tracing back through your friendship timeline, you find that one, o too common, yet, completely misunderstood phrase, "Let me know what I can do to help". On the face of it, this statement seems self explanatory; if there is something I can do, let me know, and I'll help out. Sorry folks, but if we're not cool like that, this phrase doesn't mean the same thing for you. It means, "Wow, I didn't think you would let me into your personal life at this stage of our relationship. I'm honored you feel so comfortable, however, I can't really say that I will be this way with you. I do realize you are going through a tough time and right now isn't the right time to check you, so I'll wait and just say, let me know what I can do to help." I guess the former portion of that phrase was missed.

And that's where it all began. You learn about all of the mishaps in someone's life and it becomes more and more difficult to be the one that kicked them when they were down. Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, you've been closer. You find yourself helping with phone bills, sending money, and paying for the dinner at the catch-up spot. You begin to develop a soft spot in your heart for this person and then, the social network: 

TWITTER:

Had a good time with @(insert culprit's name here) at the club last night

FACEBOOK:

(insert culprit's name here) is about to party like it's 1999! Make it RAIN! 

Photo Albums: Is that a bottle?!

CULPRIT'S FRIEND'S TWITTER PAGE:  

Aye, @( insert culprit's name here ) thanks for that financial stimulus the other day. I got you tomorrow.

WHAT IN TARNATION?!

Out of the goodness of your heart, you've helped someone, then you find out they took complete advantage of it all. You've gotten all of your curse words ready for that phone call/text/bbm you are about to make happen, then, your dilemma. You've spent time, energy and need I say MONEY, building this relationship. It'll be a cold day in hell to just walk away. Welp, I hope Lucifer has a jacket because that's probably the best thing for you to do. Walk away. Unless you plan on suing, you probably won't get your money and you definitely won't get your time and energy back. Why keep at it? Use that time on someone who'll make use of the time. 

Believe me, it's hard, I know, especially when it seems to be cyclical. It's not just about learning from your mistakes and curing the symptoms, we need to find the root to this cycle. I'd like to throw out the idea of a superman complex - believing we have to save the world one miserable person at a time. Misery loves company, so when misery comes a knocking, shut off the lights, put the TV on mute, and do not move until it leaves. 

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. But wait, isn't the third time the charm? How many times is too many times? Call me naive, but I'd like to think that everyone has a good side to them and no one is purposely evil. But believe me, there are some evil people in this world that prey on the gentle kind-hearted ones and we need to know when enough is enough. Enough is now.

Appreciate those who deceive you; they improve your wisdom. 

Smoochis :*

KK