Have you ever seen a gorgeous guy at the store and instead of approaching him, you positioned yourself to always be in sight so he could ask you a question?
Ever had an opportunity on the job pass you by because you figured it would happen for you, instead of just making it happen?
Rather have a staring contest with the cute guy at the bar, waiting for him to come over, instead of asking him to dance?
* In my best Laurence Fishburne voice at the end of School Daze*
WAAAAAKKKKKEEEEE UUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!
How many good dates, potential boyfriends or future husbands have we missed out on, because we didn't want to say hello first? How many job offers, pay raises, promotions or travel options have we missed out on because no one knew we were interested? A closed mouth doesn't get a fed. Had I approached Reggie Bush that one time I saw him in Soho, we would have been living happily ever after -- Ok, that didn't really happen, but a girl can dream can't she?
On work and job opportunities -- Always ask questions. Do you know where you stand? Do you have outlined goals and objectives? Are you meeting them? Are they being tracked anywhere? A lot of us are working and we don't even know how good of a job, or lack thereof, we are doing. Set up meetings with your manager to track your progress. If your manager knows that you are interested in your development, it makes your manager more interested in developing you.
Promotions are made at the bar. I do not take this in the literal sense meaning that you have to drink your life away in order to climb the corporate ladder, but over alcohol, people tend to open up more and speak their mind, instead of being so reserved, meaning speak your mind and don't just listen. While your manager outlines your goals, come to the meeting with goals you have as well. If you want to be promoted, make sure the outline includes the steps you need to take to make that happen. If you want to go abroad, make sure it is known and you would like to bring it into fruition; ask your manager for assistance. A manager should be just as interested in your success and happiness as you are.
On relationships -- You better get that man! Sure be selective and don't necessarily try to get the number of every cute guy you see, but don't be afraid to approach him. Worst case scenario, he isn't interested. *snaps fingers* drats. We need to get comfortable with the approach. Contrary to popular belief, it isn't easy for men so you don't have to automatically assume that it'll be easy for you. The first time we try many things, we may not know what to expect, but over time it'll get easier. I'm all for a man being a man and courting, but it's time for a woman to be a woman as well. While you can define that any way you wish, I ask that you put in that clause that sitting back and waiting, not be an option.
Batting our eyes and doing seductive poses is going to last but for so long. Pretty walks up and down the block everyday, we need to do something to stand out. The best way to stand out is to make the first move. We know how good it feels when a guy approaches us and lays down, what may be, his best pick-up line ever. Even if it isn't good, he gets credit for trying. So, ladies, think of your best pick-up line and try it out, even if it's a simple hello. It may be difficult, but you tried. Most importantly, he knows you're interested. Maybe later on he may try to talk to you, you know that male ego thing, but now he knows the interest is mutual so it may boost his confidence a bit.
This is definitely a generalization and if it applies to you, you will know: As women, we tend to take what is given to us, rather than go for what we want. Why? Why do we always wait for the offer instead of grabbing the opportunity? There is no real reason besides the fact that we may be accustomed to it and we are used to being the lady in waiting. We do not want to come across as aggressive when we're just trying to be assertive. There will be risks in life and we have to figure out which ones are worth taking. If you ask me, standing up for what you want is a good one to take.
Break the mold. Go after that promotion. Start that conversation. A calendar invite or a simple hello can be the beginnings of a new life.
Smoochis :-*
KK
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Can You Handle It?
" If it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all "
My birthday was 10 days ago and if this is a precursor to the year, I'm going to have to claim 2012 starting TODAY -- I know, the new year just started but nobody knows the trouble I've seen lol. I went through a down and out stage where my desire to be happy was lacking and my passions were in jeopardy. I didn't have a complete idea to blog about, a recipe in my head or a song in my heart. I wasn't who I usually am and I was hiding behind a mask that grinned and lied. Fortunately, my wake-up call came through to deliver a simple message: Trouble Don't Last Always.
The ability to change our mood relies on ourselves and it's our choice to change it. It's becoming way to easy and acceptable to drown in our sorrows. We want pity parties, even though we proclaim we don't, and we want to bask in the misery because someone is always ready and willing to feel our pain and keep us company. Sure, it's a great excuse to eat a pint of vanilla ice cream in one sitting and shop 'til we drop, but like most actions brought about by emotions, we will probably regret it later. So, to my sorrows and misery of the new year, I have one simple message for you: Thank you.
Strange right? Here me out. I spent so much time dwelling on how upset I was and how things weren't working out the way I wanted them to, I didn't appreciate the things I already had that were working so well. I was so determined to keep something that didn't want to be kept, I almost lost something that never second guessed it's position. I had to check myself -- I have other options, I will live without certain things and whatever I'm going through won't last forever. I can be happy for sunshine, because I've seen rain and snow, but that's a different story. * Get it together Mother Nature *
I'm still trying to keep to my new year's resolution and stay happy no matter what. Materialistic things, love and others may make us happier, but we need to be able to be happy without them. If we get to the point where the joy we have didn't come from worldly things, then worldly things can't take it away. Deep right? I'll say it again, slightly different -- If the joy you have doesn't come from the world, how can the world take it from you? ** snaps fingers ** If we were stripped of it all, do we slump into depression or do we adjust to the blow and rebuild?
The sequence of the event:
Something happens --> We elicit an emotion --> Time passes --> We move on.
I'm not naive enough to say it's as simple as my diagram. I'm also not naive enough to say that we will get over everything because unfortunately, there are events in our lives that leave everlasting scars. I am, however, confident enough to say that if we are lucky enough to not be in one of those situations, work feverishly to move on. Being sad or troubled is a horrible feeling. Time heals and we can assist in the process by packing the bags of our sorrow and leaving them by the door; we don't need it lagging around and looking for remnants of left behind memories. Instead of staying in your favorite spot on the couch, snag a friend to go out for dinner or drinks. Instead of going straight home, catch a movie. If you have to go home, watch t.v. for a bit or call a friend.
If you are in this situation, do this. If you know of someone who may be suffocating because of the different issues hogging their air, revive them with a trip to the nail salon; you don't necessarily have to pay. Idle minds are the devil's playground -- the more we sit around doing nothing, we're going to think of all of the reasons we have to be sad and it becomes overwhelming.
Just so I don't receive numerous messages and phone calls from people after reading this post, I am ok. I just had tons of life events hit me at once that tried to dim my light. I share this with you because we all hit road blocks that try to steer us from our path or get distracted from our ultimate goal, focusing on the minute along our road to bigger things. It's not the end of the world, but it can feel that way. Write, cook, run, do something. Just remember, when you're down, you can only go up.
For those who don't know me outside of my posts, I think I'm an unusually happy and pleasant person. I have things that ruffle my feathers and grind my gears, but it's rare to catch me without a smile. I try to be the best me that I can be, because honestly, I am the only one that can do it. I try to stay positive and lead by example, but everyday is a learning experience and I'm growing as the days pass. I love who I was, I love who I am and I have this uncanny feeling that I am going to love who I will become.
Life snuck up on me. I dwelled on it, went out a few times, cooked a good meal with the music blaring in the background and blogged. What are you going to do?
Smoochis :-*
KK
My birthday was 10 days ago and if this is a precursor to the year, I'm going to have to claim 2012 starting TODAY -- I know, the new year just started but nobody knows the trouble I've seen lol. I went through a down and out stage where my desire to be happy was lacking and my passions were in jeopardy. I didn't have a complete idea to blog about, a recipe in my head or a song in my heart. I wasn't who I usually am and I was hiding behind a mask that grinned and lied. Fortunately, my wake-up call came through to deliver a simple message: Trouble Don't Last Always.
The ability to change our mood relies on ourselves and it's our choice to change it. It's becoming way to easy and acceptable to drown in our sorrows. We want pity parties, even though we proclaim we don't, and we want to bask in the misery because someone is always ready and willing to feel our pain and keep us company. Sure, it's a great excuse to eat a pint of vanilla ice cream in one sitting and shop 'til we drop, but like most actions brought about by emotions, we will probably regret it later. So, to my sorrows and misery of the new year, I have one simple message for you: Thank you.
Strange right? Here me out. I spent so much time dwelling on how upset I was and how things weren't working out the way I wanted them to, I didn't appreciate the things I already had that were working so well. I was so determined to keep something that didn't want to be kept, I almost lost something that never second guessed it's position. I had to check myself -- I have other options, I will live without certain things and whatever I'm going through won't last forever. I can be happy for sunshine, because I've seen rain and snow, but that's a different story. * Get it together Mother Nature *
I'm still trying to keep to my new year's resolution and stay happy no matter what. Materialistic things, love and others may make us happier, but we need to be able to be happy without them. If we get to the point where the joy we have didn't come from worldly things, then worldly things can't take it away. Deep right? I'll say it again, slightly different -- If the joy you have doesn't come from the world, how can the world take it from you? ** snaps fingers ** If we were stripped of it all, do we slump into depression or do we adjust to the blow and rebuild?
The sequence of the event:
Something happens --> We elicit an emotion --> Time passes --> We move on.
I'm not naive enough to say it's as simple as my diagram. I'm also not naive enough to say that we will get over everything because unfortunately, there are events in our lives that leave everlasting scars. I am, however, confident enough to say that if we are lucky enough to not be in one of those situations, work feverishly to move on. Being sad or troubled is a horrible feeling. Time heals and we can assist in the process by packing the bags of our sorrow and leaving them by the door; we don't need it lagging around and looking for remnants of left behind memories. Instead of staying in your favorite spot on the couch, snag a friend to go out for dinner or drinks. Instead of going straight home, catch a movie. If you have to go home, watch t.v. for a bit or call a friend.
If you are in this situation, do this. If you know of someone who may be suffocating because of the different issues hogging their air, revive them with a trip to the nail salon; you don't necessarily have to pay. Idle minds are the devil's playground -- the more we sit around doing nothing, we're going to think of all of the reasons we have to be sad and it becomes overwhelming.
Just so I don't receive numerous messages and phone calls from people after reading this post, I am ok. I just had tons of life events hit me at once that tried to dim my light. I share this with you because we all hit road blocks that try to steer us from our path or get distracted from our ultimate goal, focusing on the minute along our road to bigger things. It's not the end of the world, but it can feel that way. Write, cook, run, do something. Just remember, when you're down, you can only go up.
For those who don't know me outside of my posts, I think I'm an unusually happy and pleasant person. I have things that ruffle my feathers and grind my gears, but it's rare to catch me without a smile. I try to be the best me that I can be, because honestly, I am the only one that can do it. I try to stay positive and lead by example, but everyday is a learning experience and I'm growing as the days pass. I love who I was, I love who I am and I have this uncanny feeling that I am going to love who I will become.
Life snuck up on me. I dwelled on it, went out a few times, cooked a good meal with the music blaring in the background and blogged. What are you going to do?
Smoochis :-*
KK
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Teach You A Lesson
Happy New Year!
*Grabs popcorn* So, what'd you do?! Did you spend the time getting dressed, going out and partying? What's worse, the pain or the hangover? Did you go to 42nd street to watch the ball drop? When the clock struck 12, did you kiss that special someone? Are you the lucky one whose boyfriend popped the question? If you were me, your New Year is full of traditions. It can be any of the above, or it can be cleaning house, mentally and physically. Physically, my family is cleaning from top to bottom. We mop, sweep, change our bedding, do all of the laundry in the house, eat our collard greens, black-eyed peas and fried chicken, make sure there are no dishes in the sink by 11, no garbage in the bin after 11:30, and everyone is showered with money in hand, sitting in front of the tv by 11:45. We bring in the year with our family, sparkling cider and cell phones. If you ask me, it's a good time.
Mentally, we all make resolutions, whether or not we stick to them is a different story. Some may argue that we shouldn't wait until January to make resolutions, while I agree, I also ask, what better time than January? January is a time of evaluating and it symbolizes new beginnings. The Roman god, Janus ( Janus... January -- definite relation ), is the god of gates, doorways, beginnings and endings. Pictures of this god usually show him as having two faces, facing opposite directions -- glancing at the past and looking forward to the future.
As the saying goes, you can't know where you're going, if you don't know where you've come from. I've come from good times, however, I've seen some downers. We've all had trials, tribulations, and sorrow, but if you're reading this, you've made it through. I'd like to think that the hope we all restore in our lives for change when the new year comes around, helps us do this. January is a point of evolution and I encourage you to take a look back and come up with a few things you'd like to do differently. They don't have to be very specific but you have to set some goals.
After doing some evaluating and hearing a good word, 2011 will be my year of love and forgiveness. Contrary to popular belief, we aren't put on the earth to be miserable, but to find joy. We have to make time for the things and people we love. People always say time is money, but, in reality, time is more valuable. You can always make more money, but you can't get time back. Use this time to spend with people that matter and doing things that make you happy. Let your hair down, stop and smell the roses, laugh a little longer and take the language class you thought you didn't have time for. If you're creative and want to do something with it, explore the option. Our days on Earth are numbered, so make the most of them while you can. No, don't quit your job just yet, but hone your talents. We all have them, but we've never taken the time to use them to their fullest potential.
Our rearview mirror on life is full of different things and we have to build a bridge and get over it. Easier said than done, but if we live our present life, over the history of yesterday and not for the mystery of tomorrow, we're not really living. Living our life full of regret and the past ill-doings of others, won't enable progression. If you argued with a close friend last year, make the decision to leave the argument or the friend, in 2010. If you're beating yourself up about something you did in the past, start a new and try not to make it again. Really, that was SO last year. If I do nothing else, I just want to live wisely; I want to make every day count. I can't take a proper step forward, if I'm looking at my tracks. We may not lose the 25 lbs we aim for every year nor may we save the amount of money we'd like, but it's ok. As long as we make the smart decision that'll make us happy, I think we'll stay afloat.
I'm going to share a few isms I've picked up for the new year. I'll give 11, since it seems fitting :) Apply them as you see fit:
1. Smiling changes your mood. Try it. If it doesn't work the first time, keep trying until it does.
2. If you're not satisfied with your past, change it; it can be that easy.
3. If you have a choice between being right and being kind, be kind.
4. Even though it may be true, it may not need to be said. If you don't say it, you won't have to apologize.
5. Don't deliberately hurt people.
6. You can have everything you want, you just can't have it all at the same time.
7. Pick your battles wisely; you'll find that some shouldn't be fought. The greatest victory is the battle that never happened.
8. Be careful not to expect from others what they don't have in them to give you.
9. Some people come in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime; bundle accordingly.
10. Tell someone you love, you love them.
11. Schedule me time.
January is a great month, it's the month of my birthday ( Go Capricorns! ) and a time of transition. We're given 365 days, on leap years, 366, to do anything we desire; make the hyphen between our beginning and our end mean something. So use this time wisely to love and be forgiving to those in your path; a heavy heart is a complete drag.
Smoochis :-*
KK
*Grabs popcorn* So, what'd you do?! Did you spend the time getting dressed, going out and partying? What's worse, the pain or the hangover? Did you go to 42nd street to watch the ball drop? When the clock struck 12, did you kiss that special someone? Are you the lucky one whose boyfriend popped the question? If you were me, your New Year is full of traditions. It can be any of the above, or it can be cleaning house, mentally and physically. Physically, my family is cleaning from top to bottom. We mop, sweep, change our bedding, do all of the laundry in the house, eat our collard greens, black-eyed peas and fried chicken, make sure there are no dishes in the sink by 11, no garbage in the bin after 11:30, and everyone is showered with money in hand, sitting in front of the tv by 11:45. We bring in the year with our family, sparkling cider and cell phones. If you ask me, it's a good time.
Mentally, we all make resolutions, whether or not we stick to them is a different story. Some may argue that we shouldn't wait until January to make resolutions, while I agree, I also ask, what better time than January? January is a time of evaluating and it symbolizes new beginnings. The Roman god, Janus ( Janus... January -- definite relation ), is the god of gates, doorways, beginnings and endings. Pictures of this god usually show him as having two faces, facing opposite directions -- glancing at the past and looking forward to the future.
As the saying goes, you can't know where you're going, if you don't know where you've come from. I've come from good times, however, I've seen some downers. We've all had trials, tribulations, and sorrow, but if you're reading this, you've made it through. I'd like to think that the hope we all restore in our lives for change when the new year comes around, helps us do this. January is a point of evolution and I encourage you to take a look back and come up with a few things you'd like to do differently. They don't have to be very specific but you have to set some goals.
After doing some evaluating and hearing a good word, 2011 will be my year of love and forgiveness. Contrary to popular belief, we aren't put on the earth to be miserable, but to find joy. We have to make time for the things and people we love. People always say time is money, but, in reality, time is more valuable. You can always make more money, but you can't get time back. Use this time to spend with people that matter and doing things that make you happy. Let your hair down, stop and smell the roses, laugh a little longer and take the language class you thought you didn't have time for. If you're creative and want to do something with it, explore the option. Our days on Earth are numbered, so make the most of them while you can. No, don't quit your job just yet, but hone your talents. We all have them, but we've never taken the time to use them to their fullest potential.
Our rearview mirror on life is full of different things and we have to build a bridge and get over it. Easier said than done, but if we live our present life, over the history of yesterday and not for the mystery of tomorrow, we're not really living. Living our life full of regret and the past ill-doings of others, won't enable progression. If you argued with a close friend last year, make the decision to leave the argument or the friend, in 2010. If you're beating yourself up about something you did in the past, start a new and try not to make it again. Really, that was SO last year. If I do nothing else, I just want to live wisely; I want to make every day count. I can't take a proper step forward, if I'm looking at my tracks. We may not lose the 25 lbs we aim for every year nor may we save the amount of money we'd like, but it's ok. As long as we make the smart decision that'll make us happy, I think we'll stay afloat.
I'm going to share a few isms I've picked up for the new year. I'll give 11, since it seems fitting :) Apply them as you see fit:
1. Smiling changes your mood. Try it. If it doesn't work the first time, keep trying until it does.
2. If you're not satisfied with your past, change it; it can be that easy.
3. If you have a choice between being right and being kind, be kind.
4. Even though it may be true, it may not need to be said. If you don't say it, you won't have to apologize.
5. Don't deliberately hurt people.
6. You can have everything you want, you just can't have it all at the same time.
7. Pick your battles wisely; you'll find that some shouldn't be fought. The greatest victory is the battle that never happened.
8. Be careful not to expect from others what they don't have in them to give you.
9. Some people come in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime; bundle accordingly.
10. Tell someone you love, you love them.
11. Schedule me time.
January is a great month, it's the month of my birthday ( Go Capricorns! ) and a time of transition. We're given 365 days, on leap years, 366, to do anything we desire; make the hyphen between our beginning and our end mean something. So use this time wisely to love and be forgiving to those in your path; a heavy heart is a complete drag.
Smoochis :-*
KK
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