Trading Places

Have you ever seen a gorgeous guy at the store and instead of approaching him, you positioned yourself to always be in sight so he could ask you a question?
Ever had an opportunity on the job pass you by because you figured it would happen for you, instead of just making it happen?
Rather have a staring contest with the cute guy at the bar, waiting for him to come over, instead of asking him to dance?

* In my best Laurence Fishburne voice at the end of School Daze*
WAAAAAKKKKKEEEEE UUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!

How many good dates, potential boyfriends or future husbands have we missed out on, because we didn't want to say hello first? How many job offers, pay raises, promotions or travel options have we missed out on because no one knew we were interested? A closed mouth doesn't get a fed. Had I approached Reggie Bush that one time I saw him in Soho, we would have been living happily ever after -- Ok, that didn't really happen, but a girl can dream can't she?

On work and job opportunities -- Always ask questions. Do you know where you stand? Do you have outlined goals and objectives? Are you meeting them? Are they being tracked anywhere? A lot of us are working and we don't even know how good of a job, or lack thereof, we are doing. Set up meetings with your manager to track your progress. If your manager knows that you are interested in your development, it makes your manager more interested in developing you.

Promotions are made at the bar. I do not take this in the literal sense meaning that you have to drink your life away in order to climb the corporate ladder, but over alcohol, people tend to open up more and speak their mind, instead of being so reserved, meaning speak your mind and don't just listen. While your manager outlines your goals, come to the meeting with goals you have as well. If you want to be promoted, make sure the outline includes the steps you need to take to make that happen. If you want to go abroad, make sure it is known and you would like to bring it into fruition; ask your manager for assistance. A manager should be just as interested in your success and happiness as you are.

On relationships -- You better get that man! Sure be selective and don't necessarily try to get the number of every cute guy you see, but don't be afraid to approach him. Worst case scenario, he isn't interested. *snaps fingers* drats. We need to get comfortable with the approach. Contrary to popular belief, it isn't easy for men so you don't have to automatically assume that it'll be easy for you. The first time we try many things, we may not know what to expect, but over time it'll get easier. I'm all for a man being a man and courting, but it's time for a woman to be a woman as well. While you can define that any way you wish, I ask that you put in that clause that sitting back and waiting, not be an option.

Batting our eyes and doing seductive poses is going to last but for so long. Pretty walks up and down the block everyday, we need to do something to stand out. The best way to stand out is to make the first move. We know how good it feels when a guy approaches us and lays down, what may be, his best pick-up line ever. Even if it isn't good, he gets credit for trying. So, ladies, think of your best pick-up line and try it out, even if it's a simple hello. It may be difficult, but you tried. Most importantly, he knows you're interested. Maybe later on he may try to talk to you, you know that male ego thing, but now he knows the interest is mutual so it may boost his confidence a bit.

This is definitely a generalization and if it applies to you, you will know: As women, we tend to take what is given to us, rather than go for what we want. Why? Why do we always wait for the offer instead of grabbing the opportunity? There is no real reason besides the fact that we may be accustomed to it and we are used to being the lady in waiting. We do not want to come across as aggressive when we're just trying to be assertive. There will be risks in life and we have to figure out which ones are worth taking. If you ask me, standing up for what you want is a good one to take.

Break the mold. Go after that promotion. Start that conversation. A calendar invite or a simple hello can be the beginnings of a new life.

Smoochis :-*
KK