Hoodwinked, bamboozled and swindled are a few of the words that come to mind when we finally realize that we've been cheated, again. We've turned an acquaintance, someone we barely knew, into a dependent. How did this happen? After tracing back through your friendship timeline, you find that one, o too common, yet, completely misunderstood phrase, "Let me know what I can do to help". On the face of it, this statement seems self explanatory; if there is something I can do, let me know, and I'll help out. Sorry folks, but if we're not cool like that, this phrase doesn't mean the same thing for you. It means, "Wow, I didn't think you would let me into your personal life at this stage of our relationship. I'm honored you feel so comfortable, however, I can't really say that I will be this way with you. I do realize you are going through a tough time and right now isn't the right time to check you, so I'll wait and just say, let me know what I can do to help." I guess the former portion of that phrase was missed.
And that's where it all began. You learn about all of the mishaps in someone's life and it becomes more and more difficult to be the one that kicked them when they were down. Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, you've been closer. You find yourself helping with phone bills, sending money, and paying for the dinner at the catch-up spot. You begin to develop a soft spot in your heart for this person and then, the social network:
TWITTER:
Had a good time with @(insert culprit's name here) at the club last night
FACEBOOK:
(insert culprit's name here) is about to party like it's 1999! Make it RAIN!
Photo Albums: Is that a bottle?!
CULPRIT'S FRIEND'S TWITTER PAGE:
Aye, @( insert culprit's name here ) thanks for that financial stimulus the other day. I got you tomorrow.
WHAT IN TARNATION?!
Out of the goodness of your heart, you've helped someone, then you find out they took complete advantage of it all. You've gotten all of your curse words ready for that phone call/text/bbm you are about to make happen, then, your dilemma. You've spent time, energy and need I say MONEY, building this relationship. It'll be a cold day in hell to just walk away. Welp, I hope Lucifer has a jacket because that's probably the best thing for you to do. Walk away. Unless you plan on suing, you probably won't get your money and you definitely won't get your time and energy back. Why keep at it? Use that time on someone who'll make use of the time.
Believe me, it's hard, I know, especially when it seems to be cyclical. It's not just about learning from your mistakes and curing the symptoms, we need to find the root to this cycle. I'd like to throw out the idea of a superman complex - believing we have to save the world one miserable person at a time. Misery loves company, so when misery comes a knocking, shut off the lights, put the TV on mute, and do not move until it leaves.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. But wait, isn't the third time the charm? How many times is too many times? Call me naive, but I'd like to think that everyone has a good side to them and no one is purposely evil. But believe me, there are some evil people in this world that prey on the gentle kind-hearted ones and we need to know when enough is enough. Enough is now.
Appreciate those who deceive you; they improve your wisdom.
Smoochis :*
KK
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